Liveblog: Top 5

We’re getting down to the wire now, and this week the idols will be singing songs—allegedly—that the audience picked (via tweeting). So if it sucks, it’s our fault!

Jessica April 30, 201410:00 pm

I’m not perfectly convinced JLo is a human. She might be a vampire. Although people mostly made vampire jokes about her ex-husband.

Reuben April 30, 20149:59 pm

On the plus side, JLo has aged somewhat better than Tawny Kitaen.

Reuben April 30, 20149:58 pm

There’s a reason this stuff went out around 1991. People were tired of Warrant for a reason.

Reuben April 30, 20149:57 pm

All I can say about Caleb’s performance is that it is what it is.

Jessica April 30, 20149:55 pm

Whitesnake? Really?

idolbot April 30, 20149:54 pm

Caleb is singing Still of the Night by Whitesnake.

Jessica April 30, 20149:49 pm

Yeah, that wasn’t quite… right.

Reuben April 30, 20149:47 pm

I think Jessica is gone.

idolbot April 30, 20149:45 pm

Jessica is singing Summertime Sadness by Lana del Ray

Jessica April 30, 20149:42 pm

Like I think a live version came up on my crappy Pandora station

Jessica April 30, 20149:42 pm

The thing is, I think The Fray live sound almost this bad. I think Sam and the lead have the same kind of voice, and they both struggle with the lower bit at the beginning.

Reuben April 30, 20149:42 pm

This is really rough in the verses.

idolbot April 30, 20149:40 pm

Sam is singing How to Save a Life by the Fray.

Reuben April 30, 20149:34 pm

I don’t get the feeling that Jena is showboating the way Caleb does. She is in charge of that band. You don’t get the feeling that the backup singers are doing the heavy lifting, or that they could rationally resent her. They can’t do what she does.

Reuben April 30, 20149:33 pm

Really good.

Jessica April 30, 20149:32 pm

Finally, something not-boring! Although I guess Jena’s first song wasn’t boring, per se, I just didn’t like it

idolbot April 30, 20149:31 pm

Jena is singing Valerie by Amy Winehouse

Reuben April 30, 20149:29 pm

Feels like the producers are just throwing random stuff into the episodes. “Hey let’s have Zooey Deschanel show up.” “Hey, let’s get grumpy cat”

Reuben April 30, 20149:24 pm

I mean, it was nice.

Jessica April 30, 20149:23 pm

I think I hate everything

Reuben April 30, 20149:22 pm

Let the direction of a hair follicle be a random variable X.

idolbot April 30, 20149:21 pm

Alex is singing Say Something by Great Big World

Jessica April 30, 20149:15 pm

That was excellent karaoke

Jessica April 30, 20149:14 pm

Or wait, are those meant to be yellow streaks? They just look like places where the pink faded out

Reuben April 30, 20149:14 pm

Rolling Stones songs for all duets from now on.

Jessica April 30, 20149:13 pm

Her shoes are really hot though

Jessica April 30, 20149:13 pm

Jessica really needs to touch up the pink in her hair, or else dye it black.

Reuben April 30, 20149:09 pm

Ballsy, charismatic, great pitch. I liked it.

Reuben April 30, 20149:09 pm

This is actually kind of enjoyable.

idolbot April 30, 20149:07 pm

Jena is singing My Body by Young the Giant

Reuben April 30, 20149:00 pm

Are the judges contractually limited from saying something sucks?

Jessica April 30, 20148:58 pm

Apparently

Reuben April 30, 20148:58 pm

Tonight’s theme is crap songs, right?

Jessica April 30, 20148:58 pm

That was super bland. Because it’s Sam.

Jessica April 30, 20148:57 pm

And any of you who weren’t born at that time can get off my lawn

Jessica April 30, 20148:57 pm

Love those lasers in the background. Very 1992 school picture, only animated!

Reuben April 30, 20148:57 pm

I want to note that there was a completely silent part and Sam was still strumming. #fakeguitar

idolbot April 30, 20148:56 pm

Sam is singing Sing by Ed Sheeran.

Reuben April 30, 20148:54 pm

Ariana Grand is attractive. Bonus for no pants.

Reuben April 30, 20148:47 pm

Jasmine Trias sang better than that.

Jessica April 30, 20148:43 pm

At least she’s less dead-eyed than usual. Unfortunately the verses were kind of awful, and the choruses not quite good enough to redeem them

Reuben April 30, 20148:43 pm

??? This isn’t even vaguely in tune.

Jessica April 30, 20148:43 pm

(that’s what we call “damning with faint praise”)

Jessica April 30, 20148:42 pm

This is, I think one of Jessica’s better performances

idolbot April 30, 20148:41 pm

Jessica is singing Human by Christina Perri

Reuben April 30, 20148:41 pm

To quote Buffy the movie, I’m not disappointed, just angry.

Jessica April 30, 20148:39 pm

America: you’re letting us down

Reuben April 30, 20148:37 pm

3 songs in and so far this is a bust.

Jessica April 30, 20148:33 pm

Poor Sam. He’s just outclassed by Jena and Alex

idolbot April 30, 20148:23 pm

Caleb sang Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith.

Jessica April 30, 20148:23 pm

If the contest were won or lost on sheer lung capacity Caleb would obviously be a frontrunner

Reuben April 30, 20148:22 pm

Every hero eventually falls. This is not on point.

Jessica April 30, 20148:21 pm

This… doesn’t sound quite right

Reuben April 30, 20148:20 pm

Oh good, I have not heard this Aerosmith song enough times. Please sing it again and again because it is very enjoyable and interesting.

Reuben April 30, 20148:18 pm

America gets the song choices it deserves. I’m not even sure I get why that’s popular.

Jessica April 30, 20148:15 pm

This song sucked for Alex. I think because it kind of sucks.

idolbot April 30, 20148:15 pm

Alex is singing Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood.

Jessica April 30, 20148:06 pm

Oh my god that’s how Jason Mraz talks?

Jessica April 30, 20148:03 pm

Ryan’s tie is kind of ugly

Jessica April 30, 20148:02 pm

Apparently if it sucks it’s the fault of countless teenage girls

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  • Julie Anderson

    You two seemed off your game tonight…was the sound system working ok?

    • It was soooo booooooooring. I had a hard time paying enough attention even to snark on it.

  • Xfactor Fan

    Alex may b going home. He didn’t have the best night + went first. Jessica had a great night and Sam having been 1 of the nights best performance alex could be going

  • Xfactor Fan

    Why is Alex in green now? He is going home

    • Says you. Also you’re commenting on the wrong post.

      • Xfactor Fan

        I apologize was just my opinion I was wrong. And i didn’t read the print at the top. Please forgive