Finale liveblog (spoilers!)

Are you ready for some filler? How about some specious boxing analogies? Let’s roll!

Jessica May 21, 20148:02 pm

Jena and Caleb promise to rock us

Jessica May 21, 20148:05 pm

And the first stupid medley of the night is over. Duet medleys are less fun than group sings, especially if both singers are reasonably good and the songs reasonably appropriate to their abilities.

Reuben May 21, 20148:05 pm

Summary of internet polls:
Votefair: 67/33 in favor of Jena 50.7/49.3 in favor of Caleb
MJsBigBlog: 61.88/38.12 in favor of Jena
IdolAnalytics: 55/45 in favor of Jena 52/48 in favor of Caleb

Reuben May 21, 20148:07 pm

Idolbloglive: 51.5/48.5 in favor of Caleb.

Reuben May 21, 20148:11 pm

It’s true that the polls with Caleb winning are usually by a closer margin than the ones with Jena winning, but I wouldn’t read too much into it. This is still a coin flip to me.

Jessica May 21, 20148:12 pm

Sam Woolf doing Phillip Phillips. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaawn.

Jessica May 21, 20148:13 pm

Phillip Phillips doing Phillip Phillips. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn.

Jessica May 21, 20148:22 pm

What is a Jennifer Nettles? Some kind of country star?

Jessica May 21, 20148:22 pm

Her pants are very fancy.

Jessica May 21, 20148:23 pm

Uhhh and they brought her in to do a duet of Wrecking Ball with Jessica Meuse? Ok then.

Reuben May 21, 20148:24 pm

Why is this necessary?

Jessica May 21, 20148:24 pm

I ship Haley and Casey. Stefano can suck it.

Jessica May 21, 20148:24 pm

Think of the adorable curly-haired babies they would make?

Jessica May 21, 20148:26 pm

I like Randy’s jacket a LOT

Jessica May 21, 20148:31 pm

This JLo performance gave us plenty of time to call up and order Italian delivery

Jessica May 21, 20148:37 pm

Kiss’s shoes are big shoes

Reuben May 21, 20148:37 pm

Someone make a gif of that Harry white-man dance right now.

Reuben May 21, 20148:41 pm

I take it from Harry’s comments in the media that he will not be back.

Jessica May 21, 20148:46 pm

I am old as hell. I do not know what an Aloe Blocc is either.

Reuben May 21, 20148:46 pm

Aloe is a name?

Jessica May 21, 20148:54 pm

I don’t get the whole Demi Lovato thing either. Pardon me while I fetch my cane to brandish at kids today.

Jessica May 21, 20149:05 pm

The Paramore chick also has big shoes. And obviously she’s been doing plenty of sit-ups.

Reuben May 21, 20149:14 pm

John Legend turns to and smiles at the audience in a way that makes me think he’s got something wrong upstairs.

Jessica May 21, 20149:17 pm

I wonder if Malaya will turn into Somebody

Jessica May 21, 20149:17 pm

Judging by the girls around Seacrest, neon is in

Reuben May 21, 20149:23 pm

How many Idol also-rans actually had a career?

Reuben May 21, 20149:24 pm

Tamyra, Jennifer Hudson, Chris Daughtry, Elliott Yamin

Reuben May 21, 20149:26 pm

Can’t think of too many others. These people probably aren’t going on to great things. Most end up like this, I think.

Reuben May 21, 20149:30 pm

Ok, you have to admit the Richard Marx/Ryan Seacrest duet was funny.

Jessica May 21, 20149:34 pm

Hootie! No blowfish though

Jessica May 21, 20149:35 pm


Jessica May 21, 20149:45 pm

I hate Lady Antebellum.

Reuben May 21, 20149:51 pm

The combined range of these three singers is still smaller than Lindsay Buckingham all by himself.

Jessica May 21, 20149:52 pm

True Colors was nice enough, but Go Your Own Way by the Idol judges is a bit of a trainwreck

Reuben May 21, 20149:56 pm

About time to tie this off.

Reuben May 21, 201410:00 pm

Mini Taylor Hicks wins.

Jessica May 21, 201410:00 pm

Ah, this brings back fond memories of Taylor Hicks’s victory

Jessica May 21, 201410:00 pm

I guess the old people win

Jessica May 21, 201410:01 pm

Or the South. The South votes.

Reuben May 21, 201410:01 pm

Didn’t have a strong feeling either way, but I do have a pretty strong feeling that Caleb probably cannot have a successful music career.

Reuben May 21, 201410:02 pm

Speaking for just my plain opinion, this is a pretty low point in Idol history. It’s not a coincidence that they lost in the ratings to a The Voice clip show last night.

Reuben May 21, 201410:04 pm

Much like Hicks, if we see Caleb singing at a Marco Rubio rally in 2016, not really going to be surprised.

Jessica May 21, 201410:04 pm

Well that’s over with

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