Top 8 Liveblog

Eight people will perform! 9 of them, presumably, will have come prepared to perform! This is kind of crappy. But this is how they’re doing it this year, so, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Reuben April 1, 20158:00 pm

Oh yeah, girls can win this show.

Jessica April 1, 20158:01 pm

I forgot it was Kelly Clarkson week

Reuben April 1, 20158:03 pm

Can somebody do a Fourier Analysis on that giant noise bomb and see whose name was said the most?

Jessica April 1, 20158:03 pm

JLo has found the one pair of shorts on earth that make her look fat. That’s an astonishing feat, given how very much the opposite she is.

Reuben April 1, 20158:05 pm

They “knew” Clarkson was something special, which is why they didn’t show her audition.

Reuben April 1, 20158:07 pm

Nick is safe.

Reuben April 1, 20158:08 pm

It’s really convenient that the show went and got Clarkson at the same moment that she needs to promote a record. Coincidence.

Reuben April 1, 20158:09 pm

So she did not not just say that he should “open his ass”?

Jessica April 1, 20158:10 pm

Rough opening

Jessica April 1, 20158:11 pm

This kinda sucks

Reuben April 1, 20158:11 pm

He’s just shouting parts of this. Also, what song is this?

Reuben April 1, 20158:13 pm

I’m trying to remember, but I can’t remember any Nick performance that I enjoyed, TBH.

Reuben April 1, 20158:19 pm

Jax is safe

Jessica April 1, 20158:22 pm

Jax, put some damn shoes on

Jessica April 1, 20158:22 pm

That was an acceptable rendition of the schlockfest that is Beautiful Disaster

Reuben April 1, 20158:23 pm

Nice control on that performance by Jax. I thought it was pretty good for being such a boring song.

Jessica April 1, 20158:31 pm

Yay groupsing!

Jessica April 1, 20158:31 pm

This is a flaccid performance by the top 9

Jessica April 1, 20158:32 pm

I think they turned Daniel’s mic all the way off for this group sing

Reuben April 1, 20158:33 pm

Tyanna is safe.

Jessica April 1, 20158:36 pm

A lot of Kelly Clarkson songs just aren’t very good, and this is one that is not.

Reuben April 1, 20158:36 pm

I always thought this song sounded kind of like an advertising jingle.

Reuben April 1, 20158:37 pm

That was good. Not as good as Jax, but better than Nick.

Reuben April 1, 20158:41 pm

I would like Keith Urban to list one tangible way that she could have “connected with the lyric” more. Just one thing. She frowned and everything.

Jessica April 1, 20158:45 pm

I completely forgot Candice Glover was a thing

Reuben April 1, 20158:45 pm

Joey is safe. Phew.

Reuben April 1, 20158:49 pm

I thought that was really really strong. Killer.

Jessica April 1, 20158:49 pm

Yeah, that was super cool

Reuben April 1, 20158:50 pm

It was certainly cool, but also the singing was really good. Like some of those notes bending up were dead on. I think the feeling is that Joey gets by on her wits rather than her voice, and maybe there’s something to that, but she can definitely sing.

Jessica April 1, 20158:51 pm

Oh yeah, she has a great voice, just not one that lends itself to the sort of thing Idol often rewards

Reuben April 1, 20158:53 pm

Things aren’t looking good for Daniel.

Reuben April 1, 20158:54 pm

This was posted to the American Idol subreddit the week Daniel sang “Happy”

Reuben April 1, 20159:00 pm

Quentin is safe.

Jessica April 1, 20159:03 pm

Acceptable

Reuben April 1, 20159:04 pm

Good, not great. I feel like Quentin is right up against his limit.

Reuben April 1, 20159:04 pm

Ok, JLo, I guess all black guys are basically the same to you?

Reuben April 1, 20159:07 pm

HCJr is obviously right that that was a technically flawed performance. But his criticism does not seem to me to be meted out equally. It seems random which off-pitch performance he’ll criticize.

Reuben April 1, 20159:11 pm

Qaasim is safe.

Reuben April 1, 20159:12 pm

Daniel is screwed, right?

Jessica April 1, 20159:14 pm

This is my yucky face

Reuben April 1, 20159:15 pm

This fell apart during the chorus, unfortunately. This needed to be about a full step lower for Qaasim to make some of these notes. Sometimes he goes for his chest voice and he’s not even close to the note.

Reuben April 1, 20159:19 pm

I think that before Qaasim takes the pentatonic scale to the shed, he should learn, um, to sing actual notes.

Reuben April 1, 20159:20 pm

Like, maybe start with do re mi.

Reuben April 1, 20159:24 pm

Clarkson is kind of making these contestants look bad.

Jessica April 1, 20159:24 pm

It does seem a little mean-spirited

Reuben April 1, 20159:32 pm

Clark is safe. Daniel and Rayvon are the bottom 2.

Reuben April 1, 20159:36 pm

I did not love that. It was just kind of shouted.

Jessica April 1, 20159:36 pm

I hated it

Jessica April 1, 20159:36 pm

But I kind of hate Clark. He’s funny-lookin’

Reuben April 1, 20159:37 pm

Last week Clark was great. This week not so much. They hyped it so much, and it was just not amazing at all.

Reuben April 1, 20159:41 pm

So now this is the highly scientific Twitter method of removing somebody.

Reuben April 1, 20159:42 pm

My sentiment data would suggest that Daniel is screwed if Twitter votes. I don’t know how that’s going to stack up against how Idol computes things.

Jessica April 1, 20159:43 pm

This is stupid

Reuben April 1, 20159:44 pm

I am prepared for this train wreck. Let’s do this.

Reuben April 1, 20159:45 pm

Wow, this isn’t actually that bad!

Jessica April 1, 20159:46 pm

Can we hear just the backup singers please?

Reuben April 1, 20159:47 pm

I mean, pitch wise I thought it was kind of decent. Better than some we’ve seen. Objectively it wasn’t done badly.

Reuben April 1, 20159:48 pm

JUST ELIMINATE THE ONE WITH THE FEWEST VOTES

Jessica April 1, 20159:50 pm

I am mesmerized by that gigantic harp

Reuben April 1, 20159:50 pm

#slatepitch: Rayvon should be eliminated. He’s been in the bottom group twice for sure. He isn’t going to win.

Reuben April 1, 20159:51 pm

I thought that was pretty good.

Reuben April 1, 20159:56 pm

So I guess only the east coast gets to make this decision.

Jessica April 1, 20159:59 pm

Yeah I voted for Rayvon WHATEVER SHUT UP

Reuben April 1, 20159:59 pm

Daniel Seavey is eliminated.

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