Top 5 Liveblog

In a surprising twist, haha just kidding. Just more singing.

Jessica April 29, 20158:07 pm

For some reason Russell Crowe is there

Jessica April 29, 20158:09 pm

Coaches want Clark to not be the most boring white guy who ever white guyed

Jessica April 29, 20158:10 pm

They have him singing Living for the City

Jessica April 29, 20158:10 pm

Oh yeah he’s safe obviously because wgwg

Jessica April 29, 20158:13 pm

Harry says Clark has no rhythm, essentially. He doesn’t “groove.” Seems true.

Jessica April 29, 20158:14 pm

Jax is safe

Jessica April 29, 20158:15 pm

Jax is no Jena Irene, and I’m still bitter than Jena didn’t win last year

Jessica April 29, 20158:16 pm

She’s doing Empire State of Mind by… Alicia Keys?

Jessica April 29, 20158:16 pm

I thought there was an old song named that. Maybe not.

Jessica April 29, 20158:17 pm

Oh, uh, her singing. Seems fine. Good, even.

Jessica April 29, 20158:17 pm

Her shoes are very tall

Jessica April 29, 20158:18 pm

The backup singers covered up a bum note at the end pretty well

Jessica April 29, 20158:19 pm

Ah, Jax was hoarse: that was not an affectation

Jessica April 29, 20158:20 pm

Harry points out that she did a good job of sucking it up and putting on a show anyway

Jessica April 29, 20158:22 pm

Fox Atlanta just played an elaborate song-and-dance ad for Amazon Prime, of all things

Jessica April 29, 20158:25 pm

Shockingly Nick is safe. 

Jessica April 29, 20158:25 pm

Another white male winner would be the official most boring possible thing

Jessica April 29, 20158:26 pm

Nick is singing a Matchbox 20 song called Bright Lights

Jessica April 29, 20158:28 pm

A creditable performance I guess

Reuben April 29, 20158:31 pm

This hasn’t been a good week for non-white people. Like every other week in America.

Reuben April 29, 20158:33 pm

Tendentious as I am, I guess I’m throwing my weight behind Jax as the person I want to win who won’t.

Jessica April 29, 20158:38 pm

Siiiiigh I would root for Tyanna but she seems pretty doomed at this point

Reuben April 29, 20158:44 pm

Bing predicts Tyanna is gone.

Reuben April 29, 20158:46 pm

Tyanna is eliminated.

Jessica April 29, 20158:49 pm

Well Tyanna wasn’t going anywhere with this performance anyway

Reuben April 29, 20158:52 pm

Why the model does not take Votefair into consideration at this point:

Reuben April 29, 20158:57 pm

Would love to know whether Rayvon was actually ahead of Joey or Quentin. My guess is yes.

Reuben April 29, 20158:58 pm

This sucks hard.

Reuben April 29, 20158:59 pm

This Rayvon performance is protracted moaning with one loud note in the middle.

Jessica April 29, 20158:59 pm

Yeah. This is like, music for 40-year-old DMV employees to play quietly at their desks

Reuben April 29, 20159:00 pm

If Idol goes on, they really should fire this entire judging panel. I don’t get the Harry defenders. None of these people will assess the contest and judge appropriately.

Reuben April 29, 20159:08 pm

All chip, no nacho cheese.

Reuben April 29, 20159:09 pm

All burrito bowl, no guac.

Reuben April 29, 20159:10 pm

All Garfunkel, no Simon.

Reuben April 29, 20159:21 pm

Clark is arguing pretty hard against Scott. Good for him. Borchetta sucks.

Jessica April 29, 20159:21 pm

I hate this song

Reuben April 29, 20159:22 pm

He “discovered” Taylor Swift. Wow, that was tough.

Reuben April 29, 20159:23 pm

oh yeah, he’s totally screwed after that performance. Good call, Scotty.

Reuben April 29, 20159:26 pm

But old people watch the show and vote. Old people. OLD PEOPLE.

Reuben April 29, 20159:28 pm

So, in these judges’ minds that Clark performance was significantly more boring than what Harry just played? In what way?

Reuben April 29, 20159:36 pm

…the hell did Jax just do?

Jessica April 29, 20159:37 pm

What little I saw of that performance was pretty rough

Reuben April 29, 20159:38 pm

Not sure I’ve ever been this at-odds with the judges.

Reuben April 29, 20159:39 pm

They really loved that? I only heard the last 40 seconds of it and I know it was a mess.

Reuben April 29, 20159:49 pm

I think I missed the theme. It’s boring inspirational songs, right?

Jessica April 29, 20159:50 pm

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn

Reuben April 29, 20159:50 pm

I…guess Rayvon was okay? I think I hated almost every song this round.

Reuben April 29, 20159:51 pm

Nothing says “heart” like a team of 15 songwriters.

Jessica April 29, 20159:56 pm

More boring whiteguy music

Reuben April 29, 20159:57 pm

WHO THE HELL LIKES THIS?

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  • Jasmaree

    Clark doesn’t need coaches to make him the most boring white guy to white guy.

  • Jasmaree

    I actually enjoyed the elaborate Amazon commercial. But, then again, I’m an Amazon apologist.

    • Oh don’t get me wrong, so am I. I just — who doesn’t know about Amazon Prime by now?

      • Jasmaree

        Last week I told my mom she should just order non-urgent things through Amazon Prime if she doesn’t have time to go to the store. Her response? “I didn’t even think about it that way.”

        So yeah, they exist…somewhere.

  • Jasmaree

    Is Jax your favorite because she’s the only non-bland one?

  • Jasmaree

    I bet he actually did break a record.

  • Jasmaree

    I don’t think this is a great night for anyone.

  • Jasmaree

    I’m voting for Rayvon because my inner Worster wants to see how far he can go.