Finale liveblog

Come for the snark, stay for the rose-colored-glasses nostalgia.

Reuben April 7, 20167:53 pm

Last night was the only episode I saw this year. La’Porsha is a ringer, right?

Reuben April 7, 20167:57 pm

According to the internet, Kelly Clarkson has spoken out that she wants La’Porsha to win. Based on just those performances yesterday, that seems right.

Reuben April 7, 20168:01 pm

President Barack Obama!

Reuben April 7, 20168:01 pm

This is smart. Voter suppression is happening all over the country. The Democrats need to start battling now.

Reuben April 7, 20168:02 pm

HOLY SH*T I KNOW ALL OF THESE PEOPLE

Jessica April 7, 20168:03 pm

Ok this is kind of magical SHUT UP

Reuben April 7, 20168:04 pm

Pia Toscano averaging about 1 second of screen time over the last 4 years.

Jessica April 7, 20168:04 pm

OH SNAP DUNKLEMAN

Reuben April 7, 20168:05 pm

Ok. I think this is going to be a fun night. These are all inside jokes and I get all of them.

Jessica April 7, 20168:05 pm

I forgot what a horribly annoying voice Dunkleman has. Was he always this annoying really?

Reuben April 7, 20168:06 pm

This joke took 14 years to pay off.

Reuben April 7, 20168:09 pm

To be honest Trent seems good too. Better than some previous winners (*cough* Caleb *cough*).

Reuben April 7, 20168:10 pm

I guess the only regret I have is that I never finished tabulating reviews for all judges. I got to about season 11 and then gave up.

Jessica April 7, 20168:15 pm

Oh boy Kara DioGuardi (said no one ever)

Reuben April 7, 20168:15 pm

Here’s the grade distribution from Season 1. Tons of perfect reviews.

Jessica April 7, 20168:21 pm

Pia Toscano sure still is pretty

Reuben April 7, 20168:21 pm

I’ll be sad if Vonzell isn’t invited.

Jessica April 7, 20168:22 pm

I wanna see Ryan Starr again. She made clothes by ripping up other clothes and tying pieces of them to her arms!

Reuben April 7, 20168:25 pm

During season 1, Randy gave 20 bad reviews, and Simon gave 31. Paula gave 9.

Reuben April 7, 20168:27 pm

In season 8, Randy gave 41 bad reviews, Kara 34, Paula 20, and Simon 51. Randy and Simon were the real MVPs.

Reuben April 7, 20168:30 pm

Kara was useless while Randy existed. She was an insider/producer who gave mostly positive reviews. It made no sense to bring her on.

Reuben April 7, 20168:31 pm

The next year Randy gave 44, Ellen 27, Kara 47, and Simon 56. Ellen was the worst.

Reuben April 7, 20168:33 pm

However, the transition to Season 10 was jarring. Steven Tyler gave 6 bad reviews the whole year. JLo gave 9. Randy gave 20, half of his usual value. They didn’t pan anything.

Jessica April 7, 20168:33 pm

Bo Bice is so old

Reuben April 7, 20168:35 pm

Sadly I did not get through Nicki’s season. Nicki was great, though. Haters can suck it.

Reuben April 7, 20168:36 pm

Sadly I did not get through Nicki’s season. Nicki was great, though. Haters can suck it.

Jessica April 7, 20168:36 pm

Apparently Caleb did put out an album

Reuben April 7, 20168:41 pm

I’m hoping for a Lazaro Arbos appearance.

Reuben April 7, 20168:42 pm

Whoa. Carrie Underwood is in Taylor-Swift shape.

Reuben April 7, 20168:44 pm

Where’s Scott Savol?

Reuben April 7, 20168:48 pm

Someone might justifiably forget that there are two people who performed last night who are getting results tonight.

Jessica April 7, 20168:48 pm

I didn’t need more Scotty McCreery in my life

Jessica April 7, 20168:49 pm

I want some Blake Lewis

Reuben April 7, 20168:52 pm

I feel like Blake Lewis started the idea of a contestant doing wildly different arrangements than the original. But a lot of people kind of did “hidden” arrangements. Like, apparently Jena Irene’s version of I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You was actually kinda stolen from Ingrid Michaelson.

Reuben April 7, 20168:55 pm

After that, one album and done. Blake Lewis might be a bartender for all I know. (This actually happened to Rickey Smith.)

Jessica April 7, 20168:56 pm

I wonder if Nikki McKibbin still runs a karaoke bar

Reuben April 7, 20168:58 pm

I know it’s not popular (certainly wasn’t at the time), but Katherine McPhee absolutely should have beaten Taylor Hicks.

Jessica April 7, 20168:58 pm

Katharine McPhee should not be blonde

Jessica April 7, 20169:00 pm

That oboist doesn’t usually get to be on tv I bet

Reuben April 7, 20169:02 pm

Has a black woman ever made the Top 2 and not won?

Jessica April 7, 20169:04 pm

Carly Smithson is still one of my favorites

Reuben April 7, 20169:05 pm

Carly was a victim of a weird smear campaign that she was a ringer, an established recording artist who was just using the show as a means of advertisement. Even if true, in light of later contestants, that seems pretty dumb.

Reuben April 7, 20169:06 pm

Oh, man, I just remembered that Michael Johns is dead.

Reuben April 7, 20169:07 pm

Oh, wow, so is Alexis Cohen

Reuben April 7, 20169:09 pm

Apparently Joanne Borgella also died. Cancer.

Reuben April 7, 20169:10 pm

Do you think they even bother putting batteries in her mic?

Reuben April 7, 20169:16 pm

These judges performances are the pits.

Jessica April 7, 20169:22 pm

LaToya London still looks great

Reuben April 7, 20169:23 pm

Jennifer Hudson really pulls off a cape.

Reuben April 7, 20169:26 pm

Kinda surprised Hicks isn’t out campaigning for Trump.

Reuben April 7, 20169:27 pm

Taylor Hicks playing his harmonica walking toward the judges still a standout moment for me.

Reuben April 7, 20169:28 pm

Josiah Leming playing Grace Kelly. Andrew Garcia playing Straight Up. Indelible.

Jessica April 7, 20169:29 pm

…Jason Castro singing Hallelujah…

Reuben April 7, 20169:30 pm

Idol was at its best when it had surprising people. It wasn’t always about being good. When the game became very controlled, when the majority of the contestants were professionals, that’s when it just became mostly bland.

Reuben April 7, 20169:30 pm

In the end, I think what damaged Idol is that they stopped allowing contestants to fail.

Reuben April 7, 20169:31 pm

Remember when you were like “whoa, how did they let him come out and sing that after hearing rehearsals?!” Those were the good times.

Reuben April 7, 20169:33 pm

Clearly what is needed is 5 guitars being strummed.

Reuben April 7, 20169:34 pm

This is the WGWG number. This is shameful.

Jessica April 7, 20169:39 pm

Man Seacrest had some bad hair over the years

Reuben April 7, 20169:39 pm

That reel was amazing. It made me legitimately happy, and I’m a cynical dickhead. I’m grinning ear to ear.

Jessica April 7, 20169:39 pm

Oh Paula!

Reuben April 7, 20169:41 pm

The man himself. The show was on borrowed time the moment he left.

Reuben April 7, 20169:44 pm

This entire segment has completely made up for all the boring crap in the middle.

Reuben April 7, 20169:44 pm

Sanjaya in a wig, William Hung, the original panel. If this Ellen segment weren’t on it would have been perfect.

Jessica April 7, 201610:01 pm

I still don’t understand why I need to know Kieran the Lights Guy’s name

Jessica April 7, 201610:02 pm

Judging entirely by last night, I disagree with this result

Reuben April 7, 201610:02 pm

It wouldn’t be Idol if the white dude didn’t win, I guess.

Reuben April 7, 201610:06 pm

oh god. Seacrest says “For now…” as the show ends.

Reuben April 7, 201610:07 pm

I mean, I think that’s right. The show will come back. It may be awhile, but it would be crazy not to bring it back at some point.

Reuben April 7, 201610:07 pm

My guess is sometime in the 2nd Clinton administration.

Reuben April 7, 201610:08 pm

OK I’m out. This site will stay up, dormant. Thanks for reading. I hope you got something out of it.

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